Unfair and Unbalanced

To those readers who write to berate and/or mock me for my occasional typographical errors, I raise in my feeble defense the following: (1) I must squeeze in most of these posts at the end of a work day spent on matters more pressing than the subjects I often deal with here, matters that usually involve the turn of screw on someone's pinky other than mine or my clients'. That's hard work, but if I don't do it, which of the million-plus other lawyers in this over-lawyered society will do it with the same sense of noblesse oblige that I bring to the dance? Yeah, that's what I thought. (2) Proofreading takes away from billable hours and, as every client knows, there are only 35 billable hours in any calendar day. (3) I often (ok, usually) blog drunk. Isn't that obvious? (4) Most of my time these days is consumed with gaming the "Dancing With The Stars" voting system in order to ensure that my favorite Rhodes Scholar/Teen Activist Bristol Palin continues to advance to toe-tapping, mirror-balled glory and a legitimate occupation as an un-exotic dancer. Therefore, if the random typos and grammatical missteps annoy you, spend your days reading a dictionary and leave this rag to the trailer trash, crank-heads, and backwoods banjo-pickers who form my most devoted fan base. Sure, they may have to move their lips while they read, but words like "un-exotic dancer" deliver so much more punch when spoken out loud than when read silently.

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