Breaking News: Carnival Cruise Lines Incorporates in the U.S. and Subjects Itself to U.S. Labor, Wage, Safety and Environmental Regulations

In an exclusive story, Cruise Line News (CLN) has learned that industry giant Carnival Corporation recently incorporated its business in the United States (in the state of Delaware). Carnival intends to announce this historic development next Monday, April 4th, at Carnival's headquarters in Miami. Since the 1960's, Carnival has incorporated its business and registered its cruise ships in the country of Panama. For the past 40 years, Carnival cruise ships have flown the flag of Panama in order to avoid the onerous safety regulations, excessive labor laws, unreasonable environmental laws, and high taxes of the United States of America. Cruise Law News' discovery of this historic event came about when prominent maritime lawyer Jim Walker bumped into Carnival's CEO Mickey Arison at court side next to the Arisons' seats at the Miami Arena where his basketball team, the Miami Heat, play. Maritime ace lawyer Walker asked Mickey: "Mickey, if Dwayne Wade and LeBron James earn several hundred million dollars from Carnival and pay tens of millions of dollars in U.S. taxes, don't you think it is fair that Carnival – which earns over fourteen billion dollars a year in cruise ticket sale – pay a few billion dollars in U.S. taxes?" Perhaps it was the euphoria of the Heat beating the Lakers by one point in a close overtime victory, but Mickey was ecstatic. "Yes, let's do it!" he said handing maritime lawyer Walker a half-eaten hot dog and three-quarters of a warm Bud Lite which a Miami cheerleader handed Arison in the first quarter of the previous game a few days earlier. While quickly consuming the beer and hot dog in the excitement of the moment, expert cruise lawyer Walker happened to have U.S. articles of incorporation which he handed to Mickey to sign as well as U.S. flags to fly on the Carnival fleet of cruise ships. Mickey commented that he was embarrassed that his father Ted, the founder of Carnival Cruise Lines 40 years ago, denounced his U.S. citizenship in order to avoid paying some 10 billion dollars in U.S. taxes. "I want to make certain that Carnival pays one hundred % of our U.S. tax obligations (estimated to be over $5,000,000,000 a year) plus be subjected to the most rigorous U.S. safety, wage,and labor laws and the most stringent U.S. environmental regulations, Mickey announced over the arena's PA system! "I want Carnival Cruise Line to be synonymous with Old Betsy – the U.S. Stars and Stripes – what the U.S. stands for! Its time that indigent crew members from India and Nicaragua who earn $500 working 360 hours a month be entitled to the full benefit of U.S. employment laws, a 401(k) retirement fund, severance pay, and a college fund for their children!" While appreciative of Arison's change of heart, sources say Walker was miffed that Arison demanded that he pay $6 for the remains of the hot dog and $7.50 for the rest of the Bud Lite.

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One Response to Breaking News: Carnival Cruise Lines Incorporates in the U.S. and Subjects Itself to U.S. Labor, Wage, Safety and Environmental Regulations

  1. Florence says:

    This could not possibly have been more hpelufl!

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